news and more news

so, the day that I posted the last one, I outed myself to another lady and she 100% seriously wants me as her tranny maid. Now the hard part will be finding the time to do it but that is a total dream come true! Yay!! Also, after talking with all of the boss ladies at the building I often work in, I decided that there was no way in hell I'd work for those folks. One of them is super, but the rest are total bitches and frankly, I wouldn't risk being outed and be mistreated by those ladies...so I can put that one to rest. Oh and just a funny little thing but when I do paperwork, I do some dictating. If someone types a dictation, they leave their initials at the bottom to show that it was typed by someone. So, I've started putting vv (vanessa vaughan) at the bottom of my dictations...fun! gotta work now but I'll keep posting. so far Fiona hasn't responded to my maid offer...sigh.

attitude is everything

So...this may be brief as I have not gotten painted lately but there are story lines that are ongoing. For instance, the whole working as a housekeeper at the building I am in frequently has had it's ups and downs. Currently it is in a bit of an up-phase. Now, I need to qualify this to my good friends that read this blog. I totally understand that this playing out as I want it to do is incredibly unlikely and possibly unwise but, I love the thought of it so much it is motivating me to pursue it a bit further. So, what has happened in the last while is I ran into one of the supervisors and she said I could actually work under a pseudonym. That was really one of the key problems for me as my name would be immediately recognizable. Anyway, so then I sought out my other boss lady and checked in with her about this. She has been quite amused by all this thus far and she said she would ask the boss of bosses if my using a pseudonym on the schedule would be okay. So that is where this sits...I'm waiting. When I was in the office with the one boss lady, the HR lady was there and we were talking about uniforms again...that was fun but I suspect that, me doing it in a dress may be the limiting step. Again, it is next to impossible for this to work out but there is something in me that loves the idea of it so much I'm going to keep trying....for now.

The being a maid for friend/peer is still not there yet. I'll quickly run through my current potentials. My office buddy...currently in basement suite so...nope. Plus she is ignoring my trannyness so much lately, I'm feeling a bit hurt....I understand that her life has been hellish of late and I love being supportive but I need the sense that me being dressed up matters. Otherwise it is just like I am forcing this into the interaction and I don't like that feeling. As I have said, so many times, I want my friends to WANT/prefer me dressed up. Anyway, I suspect she is leaving the hellishness behind her now and I hope that she starts getting back into our fun dynamic. She really does have amazing instincts in all this, so I hope this works out. The other potential is proving a bit harder than expected. I think that her limit is like most of the other girls. They have lives that do not allow for having a tranny come over. The one girl I was optimistic about is just really busy. Another one who has kids may actually have a one-time deal for me to get over but I haven't heard a peep and it would be this week.

and those are the good options...eek.

the other options are just not gonna happen. The SO...doesn't deserve it. period.
My two lovely housekeeping buddies both have very square boyfriends they live with.
My other at work buddy is in the process of heading into marriage I suspect and this would not be cool at her pad.
A work gf that is recently separated...offered to her but she live in a place that is scrutinized by her narrow-minded colleague right now...so nope.

OMG, I totally forgot one maid thing...This one is a bit of fun but in reality...not interesting. I interact with a couple of women who are housekeepers. One of the ladies daughters interacts with me as well. So, I told the daughter (who is 24) about my dream to be a housekeeper (but no mention of doing it in drag) and she said I should ask her mom as she'd probably let me help. The next time I saw her, she said that there was a new opening and they needed some help. Now, the reality of this one sucks for several reasons. This lady is super religious, so dressing up is impossible most likely. This lady knows my SO...so that is way too close. But the attitude of the daughter is totally cool with the idea (minus the drag)...and that is awesome. I did say that her mom wouldn't be too cool to a boy on the team either.

So there that is. One last note. There is a local female tv hostess named Fiona Forbes in Vancouver. I actually used to know her pretty well years ago and have always thought she was super cool. Anyway, I LOVE her style...her outfits are often exactly what I love to wear, and so I watch her almost every night or on youtube. Anyway, she is also a fb friend and I think she remembers the boy me from years ago. So...she often attends these super cool events, some of which are tranny friendly. So, I have tried to keep up with this but I have failed mostly. I recently sent her a message about this topic and asked if she had an open calendar on fb or twitter, so I could see what she was planning to attend. Many of the functions she attends are benefits and often for a good cause and I think it would be perfect to attend one of these and be in drag! So, her response to the question about the calendar was along the lines of her not having one but if she had a publicist, she might have one organized. I responded with a comment about loving to be her publicist but not feeling qualified but as a maid maybe. So...can I just say that being the maid to a super cool urban professional woman would be a dream come true. Period. No surprise here but being her maid would be like winning the lottery.

So the dressing up is a disaster but I just can't keep on crying about it and being down. So, I am trying to do what I can right now. Lots of wearing dresses and hose during the day. Also, I have really developed some amazing friendships with a couple ladies. My housekeeping friends are amazing and everyday they say something that is so wonderful. I just can't get enough them. We talk about our relationships, clothes, shoes...it is all I've ever wanted from gfs. I just wish I could hang out with them. I have also developed a good dynamic with another neat lady on fb and she is really fun but she is in the middle of a disastrous  relationship and is being preoccupied with this. But she seems to be very intuitive about the more kinky side of my dressing up...that is super fun!

What else? well, gotta get out...so gonna work on it. My arms are almost done with laser hair removal...probably work on my back (yes..ug) or chest soon. Unfortunately, the ladies at the place I get laser are so normal it sucks...any attempts at feminine stuff by me are a big fat fail. But the concept of hairlessness...super hot!

I didn't go to the roller derby... too out in public with a potential for uncool types.

The beauty supply lady is gone away right now so...we'll see but I suspect that one is really unlikely.

One quirky thing....I ordered a couple of corsets. One was supposed to be a small and the other large as i wanted to give one as a gift. Anyway, 2 larges came...bummer. But what was a surprise, was the fact that both came with a matching thong. This opens up a strange thrill for me. Thongs are not designed for male anatomy and throughout most of my life, I really had zero interest in them. But a while back, I was given one as a gift and it tied into a very powerful feminine notion. There is 2 aspects of this as well. The first one is simply the flat front that women have and men don't . It is distinctly female and as a consequence, a thong is a piece of clothing that points this out. So, if I was to wear one, I would have to be flat-fronted (tucked) or it would just look like I'm flossing my nuts. Which is about as ugly as an image as I could think of. So, tucking is kind of hot to me b/c it is the hiding of the male part...THE male part. and to hide this is to reject it somewhat...that is powerful. There are only a few things I can think of that are as clearly feminizing as hiding the male parts. So, why I dig this...no idea but tucking has become something I find quite cool...I have only done it a few times but when I have...woohoo. There is another aspect of the thong and this one is a bit more common, in that I have seen stuff about this on the web. In order to fit into a thong, one would need to be of a certain size (unless you tucked). Therefore, being able to wear a thong implies that your anatomy is less sizeable. Being large is a powerful aspect of masculinity. Trust me, in the locker room and everywhere else, most boys like to think they are endowed. Even if you are around normal, you still would never be inclined to want to think that you might be undersized. It is one of the most basic masculine traits. So...me, having a less than masculine side, really finds it exciting to think of myself as less than a man. Wearing a thong and it fitting does that in spades...I must say that, even as I write this, I feel sort of creepy/weird/deviant...but it does make sense...I want to be feminized and reject my masculinity so...there you go...

Update and upbeat?

So...I'd love to tell everyone that I've found a woman who needed housekeeping, asked if I knew anyone who could help and then said that she'd prefer it if it was a man dressed in full maid outfit. That would be a dream come true for me. Well, it hasn't happened and my pursuit of this opportunity has not ceased. My work colleague is divorcing and so, I may actually get to be her maid. She would be awesome because she is full-on "pamper me" and doesn't give a care about me being dressed up at all. She's good and demanding too. The trouble is that she is moving into a basement suite for the immediate time being and that will not work with the upstairs tenants. I do think that this is my most likely chance to get to live out my dream. It is the most real and as a consequence, I can't wait for her to get on with the moving!

For me, to be a maid for someone is my dream but they've got to want me to be. The don't have to be super bossy or aggressive about it but I need to know that they are pleased by me doing this. And if they progress to expecting it or taking it for granted, then all the better. Because I am so overly scarred by the way I have seen people react to cross-dressing, I want me being dressed up to be wanted and good and then progress to how I am. I want my girlfriends to see me as Vanessa and not the facade I put on every day so that I can not be the victim of prejudice and scorn. I want them to be disappointed if I'm not pursuing my fem side in some way like hosiery or whatever. I would love it is any of my gfs would be bossy enough to tell me that I HAVE to wear hose, even on days when they won't see me and to follow-up on this. The problem is that most of the ladies are so kind they won't be that bossy or they are so busy that they don't have time to follow-up on this. I just wish I could find a few that were motivated to pursue this.

Now it is fair to wonder if it is right for me to ask this of my friends...I think the answer is no and I would be lying if I said that this is a requirement of my friendship. The only thing I need is a person who is cool and be cool with me being Vanessa. That in itself makes that woman so special and precious already. I am only talking about what I would love to get out of my friends. Now, to be honest and fair, I would be more than happy to do this for any female friends I have. If they wanted me to speak of certain topics or push them in a certain manner, I'd do it in a heartbeat

Also, it should be noted that on the occasion, my gfs will spontaneously say something like this and I can't tell you how much it means to me. I don't think I mentioned that I got 2 gifts recently. One from a lovely lady who needed favour for her sister. I did it and she gave me some hose and eyelashes. She really is special to me and unfortunately, she has recently gotten married which means she is gone to me. Too bad b/c her and I were like best friends right away. Anyway, I am happy for her...just sad that I've lost her. The other one is really special. It is the lady who has 3 kids, cat and dog at her place and so I can't be her maid b/c of that. Also, her and I went dancing last October and it was amazing. Anyway, she bought me some eyeshadow that she thought would be great on me. She said that she saw it and thought of me. Then when I said it would be a while before she would get to see me in it...she was disappointed and said so. So, how cool is she. I love her friendship.

The SO and crossdressing is pretty much dead. No comments or responses or feedback whenever I attempt to bring it up. Frankly, I've sort of given up and moved on with my dressing up hopes.

Other updates
A gf that I LOVE is in roller derby and I was thinking that a roller derby event might be a good thing to go to in drag. When I spoke with her about it she was in favour but did express concern about the dudes in the beer garden. We'll see on this.

A gf that I haven't seen in over 8 years is coming to the city nearby. She wants to go out with me as Vanessa and I think this will happen...She is so cool and man, would I love to be in the same city as her...special connection there.

I bought 6 wigs from a lady on fb, a new corset (cheap and I haven't tried it yet) online, and 4 pairs of shoes while away in the US.

The lady who manages the beauty supply place mentioned that her assistant manager was opening a shop and may need someone. She hasn't asked her boss about me being her stockgirl yet. Also, she showed me photos of her employee and he was fully in drag! Still doubt this opportunity due to the restrictive "must be available for all shifts" nature of this job but I still have great fantasies about it.

the housekeeping at the big building is dead...just too impossible to keep it quiet. the housekeeping at my office is still complicated by the fact that our current cleaner would spy on whoever replaced them.

there are 2 other ladies I could be a maid for out there right now as potentials. One of them is really cool and has been out with me in drag once before. She was the first person ever to see me in drag that knew me from where I work. She is super cool and might actually dig having maid. Just mentioned it (again) today so we'll see. Then there is my other girl, who may also be divorcing...just not sure she'd dig it. Funny but the 2 of them have the same 1st name.

I think the key thing for me right now is to get painted...but in the meantime, I'm going to keep pursuing the dream of working as Vanessa.

Well?...now what????

So, I'm in the mood to blog b/c this seems to be my only outlet right now....oh boohoo for me...lol.

So, no new news on the housekeeping although a very dear fb friend has reminded me that I should consider doing the housekeeping at my office as I mentioned a while back. I had sort of dropped that b/c of the weekly requirement but, in light of recent circumstances, I think I might re-evaluate this option. Problems with it are, weekly obligation, firing the current cleaner (who still would be doing other offices nearby), figuring out a reason why to tell the co-worker. The last one is funny b/c it was my co-worker who suggested it but my SO doesn't know she knows I dress, so I actually need to figure a lie that I don't need to tell...sillyness. Anyways, I'm going to put this one back up into consideration.

Another curious one is sort of there but not. There is a lady I have worked with who manages a beauty supply store. She doesn't totally seem into tranny stuff, that is, when I've been able to bring the topic up she isn't super into it. Not that she is down on it or against it for religious reasons, but just doesn't seem like her cup of tea. Anyway, about a year or so ago, I told her that I would LOVE to work at her store. Like so many people, she just thought it was kind of nice but crazy that someone as well-paid and in such a respected profession would want to work at a beauty supply store for not much money. Over time, I was able to convince her that it would be cool for me b/c I made it clear that I love make-up and stuff like that and, in my job, I don't get any opportunity to enjoy these topics much. She loves make-up as well, so she understands the mentality and began to believe that I was serious about my job curiosity. She mentioned they had rules about clothes and you had to wear black or white. I said that would be no issue for me. But then she informed me that, to work for her company, one must be available for any shift. Boom...so it ends...I was pretty sad and she was remarkably nice about it. I told her I had picked out some really cute outfits. Again, to emphasize, I never tell that I would wear a dress or anything directly. I always use terms like smart-looking and cute but never specifics. Anyway, after the bad news, I still kept mentioning how sad I was to not be her employee and how good I would be. I had said that, being a stock-person would be perfect but she said that all employees do all aspects of the job...again, this would be a bit complicated as well. Anyway, it sort of became less discussed, although she did make a point of mentioning that another store had hired a male and that he had dressed as a woman for the christmas photo. Anyway, I saw her recently and she mentioned that she had hired a boy. He is openly gay and effeminate. So then I got back into the topic and how bummed I was. She mentioned that she would love to hire me but the limit of the shift availability and also that she said she would feel weird telling me what to do. Also she said she'd be bugging me for my professional advice all the time. I told her that, if she hired me and I was allowed to have this opportunity to have cool co-workers who accepted me (again not saying what I'm being accepted for), then I would be so appreciative, that I would gladly offer free advice. Also, I said that I am a very obedient employee and would do what I'm told. So, then I said, she should ask her regional manager if they could hire a person to do the stock as it comes in on Thurs and I said I could go early friday to get it all done. She said that she was going to see if the company would allow this. Anyway, it was fun. I suspect this won't happen. One great thing is, this store is quite far from where I live and work so that would mean I would be safe from bumping into someone I know. The likelihood is next to zero but it makes for great fantasy...I start and dress conservatively but progressively get more feminine....pants and top to more feminine/longer top, to more legging like pants with a more tunic-like top, to leggings with longer top, then either skirt or top that is actually a dress, then tights, then nylons. Seems so easy, lol. Along the way, I'd have to progress with footwear, regular shoes, feminine styled male shoes, more male style female shoes, then heels! Or, boots...more masculine, to more feminine, to above knee or with a heel. And, of course, make-up. My dream scenario would be the ladies there saying that I "might as well," since I'm working in that industry and then progressing to more and more feminine looks. Anyway, that would be my dream.

I also am really frustrated that one of my absolute fave ladies would love to have me as a maid but it's the boyfriend/child at home issue again. This lady is, well, about as cool a person as I have met. The only downer about our dynamic is that she has a submissive thing going on as well. If I was not involved, her and I could really have had some fun exploring her interests b/c I definitely would enjoy exploring that side of me as well. But we are both taken and that is cool. Anyway, she is one of the few people I know that I truly believe, thinks it is good that I dress up. I know she would be totally great with me as her maid but I am quite worried about a boyfriend coming home or a neighbor seeing me and it causing some trouble. The interesting thing about her is that she has a true potential to really bring out Vanessa. Unlike so many other gfs, she clearly gets me. She just understands how much this all matters to me and, as such, is willing to be supportive about it, even on topics that might be pushing it. I think she would be totally into it if I came out fully. Our worlds don't cross quite enough as we both are pretty busy outside of our work.

Funny but this little blog has got me thinking about the ladies I've told and why I haven't been able to hang out with them.

So...there is my work friend...married and not cool hubby
my cool friend just mentioned...boyfriend and toddler...too busy
my cool friend who just got married...obvious
my cool friend who is super cool and has an awesome style..uncool hubby and kiddie
my cool fb friend... new baby, crazy bf.
cool work friend...3 kids plus dog and cat at home
cool work friend...2 kids plus new beau
cool sincity girl 1 and 2....married, 1 pregnant, 2, busy mommy plus hubbies
friend that I befriended on fb after she demanded it....supremely busy

Ouch...well, there you go, I clearly need to get to know some less busy people...but how!!!! and where are they?

more of what I think I want or like

So, I have been giving more thought to the question of what would I want from my female friends. When I think of things that make me melt on the inside, it is almost around things that have been said to me or suggested in the past. I have mentioned 2 previous comments in this blog before, the time when my gf said that "I even drive like a woman," and a few things that my work gf has said. One other one that will always be special was the time a girl that I was totally in love with came and sat behind my bar with me. I was a bartender then at a niteclub. Since below my waist was hidden, I wore nylons a lot. So while she was sitting there she observed me and said, "you have great legs, you should wear nylons more often." She didn't say this to make me feel good but b/c that is how she felt. I'll always love her for that!

I think it is also very important that the tone be a certain way. I generally respond well to firm pushing and a more dominant tone works great with me. "Go put your nylons on," as opposed to, "you can wear them if you want," is everything. I think I need to be told because there is still a loud voice inside me that rejects my tranny side. That voice often works against me getting dressed up or going out. It is a very rational and intelligent voice, it knows that dressing up is risky and not cool in most circles and, as such, when I am feeling the desire to dress up, the naysaying voice will overwhelm the tranny voice and I don't dress up. But, if I had someone encouraging me, then I wouldn't want to let them down and it would give me extra motivation. But she would need to be firm...I can think that 2 women I know right now fit that description. One is my work gf and the other is my new friend. My work friend is a bit too protective but she also has that strength to be really demanding. I just think she hasn't embraced it b/c she is preoccupied of late and needs to understand how this will benefit her as well.

It may seem insane but I actually do want to be pushed closer to being outed...I think the appeal of this is having a woman that actually doesn't care if I'm a queen and doesn't care what other people might think. They would want me dressed up so much that the other stuff would be irrelevant. The difficulty with this proposition is most of the woman I become friends with are very understanding that being outed could potentially be bad and, as a consequence, are less likely to push me.

This brings up my new friend. We have been acquainted for a few years now, she is a super hot dresser and I would die to dress like her. As a consequence of this I have pushed the tranny-toned discussions with her for some time. Interestingly enough she is super nice but not super warm, so I wasn't sure whether this topic was well-received or actually bothersome. One thing about us is we have a connection on a deeper level. I'm pretty sure she has some angst and seeks an inner tranquility which is identical to me. The cause of her angst is not clear to me but we do share this mutual desire to drink more deeply from life and try to pull more joy from it. It is very clear to me that she has a very good soul and is a bit fragile way down deep inside. On the other hand, there is quite a power in her as well and this is tantalizing. She is also quite stunning and is interested in fashion and dressing up...She's a bit hard to communicate with by facebook but I am hopeful our friendship can build b/c I think it has great potential.

Her and I speak via facebook. Her fb page is pretty "normal" as it is partly related to her work and her social network. So after a little bit of chatting on fb the question of being official fb friends came up. At that time I was very reluctant b/c my profile pic can be me as a maid or something pretty different and this would mean someone creeping could note I'm a tranny and I was worried about being recognized. So, no befriending at that time. Then she got very slow to respond to our chats and I sort of guessed that our discussion was going to fade away. She would send a 1 sentence message and I would respond that day and 10 days later I'd get another sentence. I just figured she was busy and our dynamic wasn't motivating her to chat. Anyway, then a little while ago, she started chatting a bit more and she asked me to be a friend again. I befriended her and then looked at her friend list (which I could not do without being a friend first). I saw about 15 people I knew as a boy! So I unfriended her. Then things got interesting, she persisted! I explained my concerns and she basically told me to change my profile pic to one that is much harder to see the boi me in. I did but then I was concerned that it might be detrimental for her to have a tranny friend. She doesn't care! How cool is she? Anyway, that is super hot to me. Also, my fb privacy is pretty good now, so I don't need to worry that someone can see my photos or any telling info. So I'm entering a new phase where I feel okay having my profile as a friend with people who may be connected to people I know.

what I want and more frustrating updates

Well folks, I hope I can get to all I want to talk about today! Firstly, thanks for reading! So, I have had some interesting stuff going on lately. If you have been reading, you know one of my dreams has always been for me to be required to dress up and for Vanessa to have a reality. Also, if you have noticed, I'm ALWAYS on the look-out for any opportunity. What that means is, I'm always playing around with me getting a chance to dress up. So, to set the stage you need to understand that I work in a large building for part of my week. This building has a large crew of a housekeepers. I am a very friendly person and as a consequence I have gotten to know many of the housekeeping staff. In fact, some of my favorite people are members of the housekeeping staff. Anyway, over the last few months, I have been joking around with some of the housekeeper's one of the managers of the housekeepers about how much I would like to be a housekeeper as well but the only qualifier is I would want to do it in a skirt or a dress. Again, it is important to establish the dynamic of these discussions to appreciate how things have gone. First of all, most of it has been done in a joking manner. This is not uncommon for me to do until I establish that I can proceed safely. So in the last few weeks I have been feeling really repressed and perhaps this has motivated me to be more bold in my discussion. Also I have ran into the manager of a couple of times lately and this has provided me or opportunity to discuss this housekeeping career option. It also must be understood that I am a professional with a very highly trained career. In a weird sort of way this has provided me some safety as most of the housekeepers would find it unbelievable for someone like me to want to be a housekeeper.

Anyway, about 2 weeks ago I ran into the manager and reminded her about my wishes to become a housekeeper. Then I reminded her about my uniform requirements. She was talking with another housekeeper at this time and we were discussing whether a male could work in a skirt if they wanted. The entire discussion was more akin to a discussion of policies regarding uniforms and rules regarding uniforms. Thus, we talked about tattoos and piercings and whether this would be okay with the company. The standard housekeeping uniform is a tunic and pants but they do allow employees to wear skirts for religious reasons. This has always been something that I have mentioned. So, as our discussion progressed, we moved from generalities to whether or not the company would actually allow a male to wear a skirt. The manager was quite confident that they would allow this. I was on cloud 9! and then I mentioned that there might be a problem with having a male employee in a skirt and the public seeing this. The manager stated that it would be best to work afternoon or evenings and there were areas of the building that were deserted at that time. At the end of our discussion, I asked her if I had to fill out and on-line application and she advised me that I could simply give her my resume because she knows me.

A few days after this discussion, I ran into one of my more favorite housekeepers and talked with her about working as a housekeeper. This lady is absolutely lovely and I have a real fondness for her. Unfortunately any tranny talk tends to make her a little uncomfortable and so I have to tone it down with her. when I saw her recently, I spoke with her about the potential of being a housekeeper and she was supportive. She also agreed that there were areas to work where one would not come into contact with the public.

I then sent the facebook message to one of my favorite housekeepers, who knows about Vanessa and she said that it would be impossible for me to keep this quiet if I did actually do it. So I am very conflicted because it would be so much fun.

The next topic has been prompted by a discussion with another facebook friend. The question is, what would I want from my friends in a perfect world. I don't think I have all the answers to this just yet but I have one example. I think it would be wonderful to have female friends who were really motivated to get me to dress up. I would love it is my friends badgered me about dressing. "How come you are not wearing nylons today?" is a good example. I think it is a difficult issue because what I want is my friends to be more forceful than they would normally be expected to be in a friendship. I also would like it very much if my friends were more assertive in finding opportunities for me to dress up with them. unfortunately we are all very busy people.

I going to think on this more but it is an interesting topic to me.

Oh and I have an interesting tidbit...eek gotta go...tbc!

star-crossed

Hi folks! I'm thrilled you are reading this. So the weather is horrendous and I have a little time b/c most people are snowed in. I'm at work but no-one else is and so I'm in the cutest little knit, black, short-sleeved, too short dress with black tights and my grey heels that I LOVE. No paint b/c I don't have quite enough time. Still, I love this outfit!!!

So, there are many ways I feel that higher powers have always conspired against me dressing up. First of all, I'm not 5'6" with delicate feminine features. Now, I'm also not 6'4" and square jawed so, I'm not totally hooped. I doubt that I could pass b/c of my size though...a little too solid for a female physique. Alas, I do okay on dark nights and rainy weather. Another way I've been cursed is my cautious nature...always careful not to get caught or risk getting caught and outed. Plus, if I was gay...I'd probably be a queen and then all my dressing wouldn't matter all that much. But...if you have been reading recent posts, you will see that I've been stuck in the closet for a couple of months. Nothing gets me more motivated than this. So, I was dead set on going to Sincity this Sat. night. Even though I had to be up at 6 am on Sunday, I was full on in....couldn't wait! and then the gods decided to have a laugh. It snowed a bunch on Friday night to Saturday morning, then it warmed up just enough to create lots of moisture on the streets and then it froze again on Saturday. Now, Sincity is a 60 mile drive both ways (and worth every inch) but I don't think I could have even gotten out of my driveway without sliding off the road. Snowbound (not the fun kind of bound) to say the least.

And get this...I may actually get out to the Taboo sex show in Vancouver this week but the weather is calling for more snow and freezing rain! Like c'mon! This would be a big step for me but I'm really ready...I think it would be safe and I don't suspect anyone would recognize me anyway. But what to wear?

I'm still focused on the maid thing....gotta make it happen. I think the SO may be left out of this b/c her ignoring it completely destroys my desire to serve her. Who wants to please someone who completely rejects their great joys? Not I. Alas, I'll keep hoping but I'm looking at a few other girls that I know from work. The trouble with me doing their maid work is...either their hubbys/boyfriends or kids. I don't want a partner showing up and getting all crazy. Also, I won't be dressed in front of kids...just seems totally wrong to expose a immature mind to something so confusing.