progressions

Well gentle readers, I'm going to interrupt the friend blog for an update on the home front. So, since she had a cold and other things that make moods less happy, I was keeping pretty quiet about my dressing stuff around home. But the SO and I had had some discussions around the topic. The first was related to the fact that I am always thinking about dressing up and the other was related to the options to get me dressing more without being out until 4 am. The first issue was actually going pretty poorly. She got pretty grumpy at me when I was getting all pumped up about her doing some things that I perceived as "mistress of the house" type. It was just accidental that she had done stuff that looked that way and I caught her in the wrong mood for it. So we had another discussion and I brought up a few points. The first was, I reinforced how I want her to be able to be involved some way but not have her uncomfortable. The second was, I was doing this b/c it would make me so incredibly happy. The third was the fact that there are times when my dressing up is brought to the forefront of my thought b/c of cues. What do I do every morning? Get dressed...so...should I wear nylons today? That type of thing always gets me "on track" with tranny thoughts.

Anyway, she softened a bit when I brought up the fact that I would play along if she had something she wanted me to do but she doesn't and that I emphasized that it is b/c she is the most important person in my world and that her being involved would make me insanely happy. She said she was going to think about it and get back to me. I told her that I would be waiting with baited breath until she told me. So a few days later she advised me that one of her concerns was that she isn't wired to think like I want her to. She doesn't always think about how she could present something in a tranny way or pseudo-mistress of the house way. An example would be, her talking like she was in charge and that I was subservient. Like putting an empty coffee cup down and expecting it to be refilled. She just does not think this way. That was a very interesting point for me b/c it is asking someone to do something totally foreign to their way of thinking and I took that to heart.

So then something fun happened, I was going to have to go away from friday to sunday this last w/e but a situation arose that meant I couldn't go. I was also unable to go to the office b/c my computer died and so I couldn't just use friday as a paperwork day. I had booked friday off already. So I was totally hoping to get to do some maid work again. She said nothing...until just before she went to sleep (which means do not bug b/c she is tired). I had said, I don't know what to do tomorrow...ie shop or whatever. She responded with "you could be the maid here if you want." I said that I had been hoping she would say that.

so the next morning we got organized and she was out. I got shaved but then I called her to ask. I was curious about her mood first of all. Bad mood would mean bad attitude which would mean negative interaction and me being devastated. I have worked so hard to get to this point with her I really didn't want to risk a step backwards. So her mood was fine. Also, I was worried about her coming back home and actually seeing me. She made it clear that she has "gotten used to" seeing me and it is no big deal. Then she said the greatest thing I could have hoped for. When I was all worried about her being at home while I was being the maid she said, "it will be just like when the cleaning ladies were there. I'll stop in, say hi and then you get back to work." I could have died of joy. To me, this meant my dream could become a reality. That is the first step of her getting okay with the idea and to refer to me as a parallel to the cleaning ladies? Awesome!

So she texted me my list and I got all dressed up and got busy. 4 hours and the house was awesome. I was a little sad by her less than totally enthusiastic response to my work. I told her that I was really hoping to make her so happy that she would be totally into me doing it again. She did acknowledge that me doing the maid work was a good thing and that it was beneficial to her. I advised her that I want her to be motivated to have me be a maid. She didn't say things with the kind of tone or excitement I would have hoped for but I think the seed is planted. I think she probably will begin to get into the idea of having a housekeeper.

I also dared to ask her to help me pick a uniform for my housekeeping. I want something less frilly and dress-up and more basic. This ties into the fact that I am aiming go just be a maid, not some caricature or fake "just play" version of a maid. I see that as the most feminizing. The way I see it is dressing up in some costume is playing and as a real woman only does that as a joke or for fun. I want to feel that my dressing up is just part of my feminine existence, not some joke. So, if my outfit for day-to-day stuff is real, then I become a little more real...less of a clown or joke. This would apply to any outfit I wore...secretary or whatever. Not too say I don't love going all out and getting glammed up! On the contrary, that is fun as well, but for nightclubs or parties.

I have lots to talk about my work friend as well...I'll get to it soon!