So...this may be brief as I have not gotten painted lately but there are story lines that are ongoing. For instance, the whole working as a housekeeper at the building I am in frequently has had it's ups and downs. Currently it is in a bit of an up-phase. Now, I need to qualify this to my good friends that read this blog. I totally understand that this playing out as I want it to do is incredibly unlikely and possibly unwise but, I love the thought of it so much it is motivating me to pursue it a bit further. So, what has happened in the last while is I ran into one of the supervisors and she said I could actually work under a pseudonym. That was really one of the key problems for me as my name would be immediately recognizable. Anyway, so then I sought out my other boss lady and checked in with her about this. She has been quite amused by all this thus far and she said she would ask the boss of bosses if my using a pseudonym on the schedule would be okay. So that is where this sits...I'm waiting. When I was in the office with the one boss lady, the HR lady was there and we were talking about uniforms again...that was fun but I suspect that, me doing it in a dress may be the limiting step. Again, it is next to impossible for this to work out but there is something in me that loves the idea of it so much I'm going to keep trying....for now.
The being a maid for friend/peer is still not there yet. I'll quickly run through my current potentials. My office buddy...currently in basement suite so...nope. Plus she is ignoring my trannyness so much lately, I'm feeling a bit hurt....I understand that her life has been hellish of late and I love being supportive but I need the sense that me being dressed up matters. Otherwise it is just like I am forcing this into the interaction and I don't like that feeling. As I have said, so many times, I want my friends to WANT/prefer me dressed up. Anyway, I suspect she is leaving the hellishness behind her now and I hope that she starts getting back into our fun dynamic. She really does have amazing instincts in all this, so I hope this works out. The other potential is proving a bit harder than expected. I think that her limit is like most of the other girls. They have lives that do not allow for having a tranny come over. The one girl I was optimistic about is just really busy. Another one who has kids may actually have a one-time deal for me to get over but I haven't heard a peep and it would be this week.
and those are the good options...eek.
the other options are just not gonna happen. The SO...doesn't deserve it. period.
My two lovely housekeeping buddies both have very square boyfriends they live with.
My other at work buddy is in the process of heading into marriage I suspect and this would not be cool at her pad.
A work gf that is recently separated...offered to her but she live in a place that is scrutinized by her narrow-minded colleague right now...so nope.
OMG, I totally forgot one maid thing...This one is a bit of fun but in reality...not interesting. I interact with a couple of women who are housekeepers. One of the ladies daughters interacts with me as well. So, I told the daughter (who is 24) about my dream to be a housekeeper (but no mention of doing it in drag) and she said I should ask her mom as she'd probably let me help. The next time I saw her, she said that there was a new opening and they needed some help. Now, the reality of this one sucks for several reasons. This lady is super religious, so dressing up is impossible most likely. This lady knows my SO...so that is way too close. But the attitude of the daughter is totally cool with the idea (minus the drag)...and that is awesome. I did say that her mom wouldn't be too cool to a boy on the team either.
So there that is. One last note. There is a local female tv hostess named Fiona Forbes in Vancouver. I actually used to know her pretty well years ago and have always thought she was super cool. Anyway, I LOVE her style...her outfits are often exactly what I love to wear, and so I watch her almost every night or on youtube. Anyway, she is also a fb friend and I think she remembers the boy me from years ago. So...she often attends these super cool events, some of which are tranny friendly. So, I have tried to keep up with this but I have failed mostly. I recently sent her a message about this topic and asked if she had an open calendar on fb or twitter, so I could see what she was planning to attend. Many of the functions she attends are benefits and often for a good cause and I think it would be perfect to attend one of these and be in drag! So, her response to the question about the calendar was along the lines of her not having one but if she had a publicist, she might have one organized. I responded with a comment about loving to be her publicist but not feeling qualified but as a maid maybe. So...can I just say that being the maid to a super cool urban professional woman would be a dream come true. Period. No surprise here but being her maid would be like winning the lottery.
So the dressing up is a disaster but I just can't keep on crying about it and being down. So, I am trying to do what I can right now. Lots of wearing dresses and hose during the day. Also, I have really developed some amazing friendships with a couple ladies. My housekeeping friends are amazing and everyday they say something that is so wonderful. I just can't get enough them. We talk about our relationships, clothes, shoes...it is all I've ever wanted from gfs. I just wish I could hang out with them. I have also developed a good dynamic with another neat lady on fb and she is really fun but she is in the middle of a disastrous relationship and is being preoccupied with this. But she seems to be very intuitive about the more kinky side of my dressing up...that is super fun!
What else? well, gotta get out...so gonna work on it. My arms are almost done with laser hair removal...probably work on my back (yes..ug) or chest soon. Unfortunately, the ladies at the place I get laser are so normal it sucks...any attempts at feminine stuff by me are a big fat fail. But the concept of hairlessness...super hot!
I didn't go to the roller derby... too out in public with a potential for uncool types.
The beauty supply lady is gone away right now so...we'll see but I suspect that one is really unlikely.
One quirky thing....I ordered a couple of corsets. One was supposed to be a small and the other large as i wanted to give one as a gift. Anyway, 2 larges came...bummer. But what was a surprise, was the fact that both came with a matching thong. This opens up a strange thrill for me. Thongs are not designed for male anatomy and throughout most of my life, I really had zero interest in them. But a while back, I was given one as a gift and it tied into a very powerful feminine notion. There is 2 aspects of this as well. The first one is simply the flat front that women have and men don't . It is distinctly female and as a consequence, a thong is a piece of clothing that points this out. So, if I was to wear one, I would have to be flat-fronted (tucked) or it would just look like I'm flossing my nuts. Which is about as ugly as an image as I could think of. So, tucking is kind of hot to me b/c it is the hiding of the male part...THE male part. and to hide this is to reject it somewhat...that is powerful. There are only a few things I can think of that are as clearly feminizing as hiding the male parts. So, why I dig this...no idea but tucking has become something I find quite cool...I have only done it a few times but when I have...woohoo. There is another aspect of the thong and this one is a bit more common, in that I have seen stuff about this on the web. In order to fit into a thong, one would need to be of a certain size (unless you tucked). Therefore, being able to wear a thong implies that your anatomy is less sizeable. Being large is a powerful aspect of masculinity. Trust me, in the locker room and everywhere else, most boys like to think they are endowed. Even if you are around normal, you still would never be inclined to want to think that you might be undersized. It is one of the most basic masculine traits. So...me, having a less than masculine side, really finds it exciting to think of myself as less than a man. Wearing a thong and it fitting does that in spades...I must say that, even as I write this, I feel sort of creepy/weird/deviant...but it does make sense...I want to be feminized and reject my masculinity so...there you go...
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