this weekend

Well, I'm all a-buzz with this week-ends events. I haven't really established myself here and so I need to do some background stuff. I'm a heavily closeted crossdresser/tranny who is in a relationship with an amazing person that totally does not dig my dressing up. I also have picked a very conservative career which also limits my ability to tap into my fem-side. If you haven't run away, I'll give a bit more detail as to my feminine side. I have been a tranny for as long as I can recall. Like most trans-folks, I am a complicated mish-mash of various quirks. Like most people, we trannies have similarities and differences. So, I know that my attraction to dressing up is composed of multiple aspects. First of all, I love women! Also, and maybe even more relevant, I find men gross (unless they look like a hot woman). Next, I love women's clothes and dressing in them. I love the feel and love how they look. Thus far I'm a pretty standard, run-of-the-mill tranny. Now, the things that separate me a bit are the fact that I am really into feminization. Which is to say, I'm into being coerced/tricked or whatever into dressing as a woman. I believe that this is a direct consequence of my guilt about being a tranny. My logic is as follows, if I am tricked/coerced into female clothing/roles, then it is not my fault and therefore I am not to blame for the crossdressing. Also, in an ideal situation, I'm being coerced by someone who actually digs me in drag. The appeal of this is obvious. What this means to me is any allusion or hint of any girl making feminizing comments is like candy. An example would be when I was driving the wrong way in a parkade and my gf said, "you even drive like a woman." Or a long time ago when a gf saw me in black nylons and said, "you've got great legs, you should wear nylons more often." The key with these is the spontaneous and honest nature of them, not a fake, scripted comment designed to tell me what I want to hear.

It also arises from this feminization fantasy that I crave female roles with associated costumes. For instance, maid...I have wanted to be a maid since I read an article if penthouse forum when I was 13. I have offered it multiple times but it has only happened for a 1 time go with one friend. Plus no make-up at that time as I didn't know how to look okay back then. Secretary is another dream option.

There is so much more but I've got a ton of work to do.

So, this weekend was amazing b/c I went out 2x and busted down a few major barriers in the process.

Friday night was big b/c I went to a not-specifically tranny/fetish event in drag. I went to an art show. Now to be honest the scene was still pretty alternative and I did ask the artist if me going in drag would be okay. But what it entailed was me getting dressed up and going out downtown to a place that was not going to be filled with other kinksters. It also meant, parking, walking to the event, and walking back, which, in drag, is a big deal. I felt very exposed but that was exhilarating. Also, the people at the show were gushing about my dress and then I met 2 girls and we chatted like I would have if I was just another girl....So cool.

Saturday night was even better b/c I had a friend who was dying to go to Sin City and so we actually finally got a chance to go. She had a friend who was super into the idea of going as well. So, she was going to borrow some fetish-y stuff from me and then go to her friends to get ready. Then I was to pick them up and off we'd go. So this is crazy hot for me for a few reasons. One, I'm going out in drag. Two, I'm going out with 2 super cool girls and I'm going as a girl, we were 3 girls going out to a club for dancing. Three, she was borrowing my stuff, which, if I am correct, is,the kind of things gfs do with each other. So, I was even more like one of the girls. So even before I got painted, I was in heaven. Also there is the little naughtiness of the fact that this girl knows the boi me and actually works with me, so there is a slight chance she could "out" me. Then, the actual evening was even better. Her gf was just freaking super cool. I truly got treated like just one of the girls. I was able to walk to and from the club without being noticed or worried. We danced like crazy and had a ball. It was totally a dream come true!!!!

well, I really gotta work now but I'm going to post more here as I'm really interested in sharing all this...